Potty Humor

(not meant for the weak of heart.)

Harry’s editing the blog today. He’s snuggled-in on my lap nudging my right hand with his very cold, wet nose, making the backspace key a necessity. Can tell this is gonna be rather slow-going. Have to stop…every few words…to scratch his neck. Attention hog.

Hope all of you are having a wonderful Valentine’s Day. Oh! Harry just sat on the computer, ghiho;sfnfskgfiso;;. Yup, then walked on it. Perfect. Thank you, boy, that’s helpful. Speaking of Harry, had a rather comical day yesterday that I’m sure will enamor all of you, most of all, my dad. I’m off of school this week, so I indulged myself yesterday by sleeping in a little, which is probably one of my favorite things in the world, second only to French fries. (Err, right now, trying to see the computer screen by peering in between two black, furry ears. Umm..okay, now he’s chosen to lay on my left arm. Super.) Anyhoo, after a little breakfast and little Yoga I sat down to check some e-mails, surf the web a little and IM my friend Jackie, whom I believe to be the only American on Central European Time. Jackie’s a Medical Transcriptionist (at least that’s what I think she does) and works the graveyard shift, thus somehow we always seem to be on the computer at the same time. So, I’m having a wonderful conversation with her about her three daughters (whom I used to teach) and generally discussing life’s most important issues (i.e. do I have a hairdresser in Germany) when I notice Harry, yes the same cow-print loveable kitten draped across me currently, dragging his cute little furry behind all across the carpet in the dining room. Joy.

Since my dad has a weak stomach, I’ll spare you the details on what trailed behind him on my carpet or the fight that ensued as I cornered him to detach the dingleberry that was so insistent on clinging to his fur. Suffice it to say, this spawned a massive cleaning spree. Decided to trade in Madonna for the Grammy-winning, albeit druggy, Amy Winehouse. (Wonder if I would like her if she wasn’t so strung out. Kids: Don’t do drugs!) So cleaning away to rather loud music when the doorbell rings.

Now I was expecting the technician from Deutsche Telecom, as the Internet has been a big ole pain in the be-hind. So I see this technician-y looking dude and not wanting Harry to make a mad dash for the door (as he usually does), I immediately invite the guy in without question. This may have caught him a little off-guard that I shuffled him in so quickly before he could explain himself. Come to find out, he wasn’t from Deutsche Telecom at all, but was there to read the natural gas meter for the heaters. Oh. Whadaya know? Well I’m awful glad that he told me that pretty quickly there in my foyer, because think I had started to come across as a ‘Desperate Housewife’ which would have been compounded by the fact that one of the Internet outlets I was gonna show him was in our bedroom. Couldda been very embarrassing indeed. Instead, I led him down to the basement to show him where the utility room was. I get down the stairs and realize Harry also had tried the tushie-scoot here as well. Now that is exactly what you want the nice man from the heating company to step over on his way to the furnace.

The rest of the day remained relatively fecal-free. (Sorry Dad, I know that grossed you out.)Had a German lesson with the Caterpillar tutor, the DT technician did come and (finally!) fixed out Internet, thankfully without having to dodge anything. I made Ratatouille, which I loved, but Tim did not so much. Then we had family movie night (Sally and Harry joined us) and watched Ocean’s Thirteen.

Well, Harry left me just a few minutes ago, probably deciding that I moved too much for his naptime, but Sally sensed his departure and just jumped up here to duck and roll right next to my right leg. Ah, the joys of motherhood.

May you all have a wonderful Valentine’s Day...and watch your step!