Meine Prufung

Some of you have asked what do with myself all day. I assure you, I am not laying around the whole time watching Soaps and eating bon-bons. (Mostly because I can’t get Soaps over here. Or bon-bons.) Actually, I’ve been taking an Intensive German class for 4 hours everyday. And that, my friends, is a lot of German. Mind you, not enough really to know what I’m saying, but just enough to get into trouble. So after 6 months of study, I take a rather large exam on Saturday to prove to the government that I can speak basic German. The test consists of a reading/comprehension section, a listening test, a written part, and an oral exam, taking up most of my day on Saturday. (And wouldn’t you know, it’s supposed to be beautiful!)

I thought in honor of my test (actually to postpone studying) I’d offer up a few of the stages that one goes through on the quest to learn another language. This list is by no means complete. Any of you are invited to add to it, as I’m sure I will as I travel down this road.

• The “Wee! Won’t this be Great Fun to Speak Another Language” Stage:
  Beware. This one is very short lived. It lasts just until you set foot in your foreign country of choice.
• The “Oh Dear God, What Have We Gotten Ourselves Into” Stage:
  Closely follows the aforementioned “Weee! Stage”
• The “Ok, There Are Stupider (no, that’s not a word) People Than Me Who Speak Multiple Languages” Stage:
  Very important as your build up your self-esteem for the fight that will ensue.
• The “You’ve Got to Be Kidding Me” Stage:
  Where you find yourself asking: How many words does this stupid language have? And why did they let a schizophrenic invent the grammar rules?
• The “Filter” Stage:
  Using selective hearing to only understand the words you already know. The rest just washes through.
• The "Ass-Outta-You-And-Me” Stage:
  Understanding 1 out of 10 words, then assuming you know what’s going on.
• The "Whoops, I’m So Sorry” Stage:
  Usually follows shortly thereafter.

That’s about as far as I’ve gotten. Okay—must study. I just need to pass, right? No need to nail it to the wall. After all, in the words of the very wise Brian Curran, “C’s get Degrees.”