Failing Housewifery

Why, oh why, didn’t I take Home Economics in Junior High? Tim did. I believe he sewed (past tense sowed, sewn?) himself a rather kicking pair of jams. I, however, did not take it, probably due to one of the 17 music courses that filled my day. And although I can identify every instrument in an orchestra, and sing harmony to nearly anything, I cannot sew a button on a shirt. Every time I see my mother, and this is kinda embarrassing, I have a stack of mending for her. You would not believe the rationale that happens in my head as I try to convince myself that she actually enjoys patching a hole in a sweater! Ridiculous. Sorry Mom.

I’ve decided that if Housewifery were a course, I’d fail. I don’t know why, my mother sets an amazing example. She cooks nearly every night with seemingly little effort. The fridge is always full of food. And, here’s the kicker for me, her house is always immaculate. I mean, for Pete’s sake (Pete? Who is this guy?) we have a Persian cat at my parents’ house and there is nary a cat hair to be found on any piece of furniture. If these skills were supposed to be inborn, guess I’m at the shallow end of the gene pool.

For a while there, I blamed my lack of Hausfrau skills on the fact that I worked at night. I simply wasn’t home to cook my husband dinner. And yes, I did spend an awful lot of my days choreographing. But as far as keeping the house clean, well…pretty sure that’s just sheer laziness. Luckily, I just remembered a tip from a Tonya, my partner-in-crime in Eastlight's Cats. There is some sort of time-warp thing with old-school Madonna albums. You put in, oh say…Like a Prayer, and before you know it, your house is clean. Planning on trying it this weekend.

So I’m feeling a bit of culture shock. Not German vs. America actually, that seems to be going quite well at the moment. It’s the adjustment from Dance Teacher into Housewife. I am now a kept-woman. It’s not like I’m a mom and making the choice to stay home to raise my kids. (My cats are middle-aged in cat years now—pretty sure they don’t need to be home-schooled.) I now have the time and energy to do all those things that I’ve never made time for before. Next stop…itunes. Searching for any/all Madonna. Planning to give myself a dance class as I mop the floors. That should be interesting…