Chapter 2: Double Axle

Dec 16th

Well, I was on my way to Peoria to work at The Company and spend some time with friends for a few days, but I got a little derailed when I hit a teeny-tiny little patch of ice on I55. Ice 1, Heather 0. Ended up backward in the ditch (as you'll notice that's a concrete ravine there) along side of about five other cars. Thankfully, no one was hurt, but well...my car had seen better days.

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So, after meeting some truly wonderful people that pulled off to make sure I was ok, I came across two characters (again, I can attract 'em) that had just flipped their car moments before my X-terra decided to try a double axle. Tell you what, these guys were about the shadiest shadsters to ever shade. Terrifying. Hmm, little frame of reference: I was way more scared being around these dudes than I was actually having the accident. They were definitely hiding stuff in their jackets, trying to dodge the state troopers. My internal red flags were going off again and again rather loudly. Actually, I think they may have been hitting me up for money at one point, but I pretended to be German and said I didn't have a bank account in the states. (Dear God, please forgive me for lying through my teeth.) Luckily, the tow truck arrived just at that time.

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After I'd been pulled out (which actually was pretty darn funny, because as I stood by the side of the road about six ginormous semis drove by and completely covered me head to toe with a salt/snow treatment) I found myself at a nearby Shell station where my friendly Tow truck driver had dropped me. He was also a little alarmed with these hooligans and thought this was the safest place he could leave me. Safe...not so much. Few minutes later, who walks in but my two terrifying friends. Within seconds, I found myself (still partly damp from my road-side spa) hunkering down behind a pyramid of Pepsi One fridge packs, praying that I would avoid detection. It worked. New Years Resolution Number 1: Make the switch from Coke to Pepsi.

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Now I honestly don't think there was anything these boys could do to me, but after a long and, oh, mildly stressful day, there is not much rational thought that was happening. About the time I'd had enough, I got a phone call that my brother was just a few minutes away. Big brother Tom to the rescue! Luckily, my car had decided to go off-roading just a few miles from where he works, so he was there in no time to save me. In all my years, I have never been so excited to see my brother!

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A couple hours later, my chariot arrived. Neighbor Mark from Peoria had taken off shortly after he had heard about my little ordeal to come get me. The day ended up pretty darn good despite my rough start. Mark made me laugh the whole way home (I highly recommend getting a daily dosage of Mark TV--laughter is the best medicine to take your mind off of hundreds of dollars of damage.) Then I finally got to the dance studio, oh, say about 5 hours late. It was just insane. These girls had been waiting for 3 months and 5 hours for me to return and they were emotionally spent. They were pressed up against the door looking for any sign of a car and when I came in, it was like Elvis just rose from the dead. There was screaming, crying, hugging--all sorts of craziness. Nothing like feeling like a rockstar for a few minutes to erase a bad day.